Archive for the ‘rants’ Category

catvomitsign.jpg1. Cats instinctively (spitefully) seek out a puke zone with the following characteristics:

a) the puke zone must contain multiple objects

b) objects within the puke zone must be oddly shaped with multiple surfaces, holes, nooks and or crannies (e.g. shoes, radiators, things made of wicker)

c) the puke zone must contain at least one object covered in or made from fabric, leather, or other porous material

2. Cat puke is both solid and liquid

3. Cat puke must come in contact with and settle in, on, or around all objects within the puke zone


Read Full Post »

abomb.jpgNow what? Lets say that you are the last person on earth (that you know of) and somehow you’ve managed to survive the nuclear fallout, the plague, the advancing glaciers, the floods, the carnivorous plants, the asteroid impact, etc. etc. Life as you know it is now one big camping trip. So what do you do with all that free time? I’m not asking exactly what you might do to survive but I’m more interested in what kind of fun things you will get up to? Here are some of the things I might do.

1. I think I’d probably find myself some weapons. In a post-apocalyptic world you never know when you might have to defend yourself against zombies, mutants, mutant-zombies, giant cockroaches or whathaveyou. I know I know, this sounds like more of a survival thing but I don’t care what you say, shooting stuff is fun. So I’d find myself a gun shop or a police station or an army base and loot me up some guns.

triffids-book-cover.jpg2. I’d move into a swank new pad. My first instinct would be a penthouse with an impressive view but then you would have to consider if the electricity is on and how long it might stay on in a post-apocalyptic world and you sure don’t want to have to take the stairs up and down from your penthouse. The great thing is you wouldn’t have to move your furniture, you could just use what’s there. So maybe a nice house would be better, with a fireplace in case you are stuck there during the nuclear winter. That might sound like survival talk again but burning stuff is fun. Of course I don’t think I’d stay in one spot very long and I’d probably make my way somewhere that is warm year round.

berlin.jpg3. I’d snoop through my neighbours houses….assuming they are still standing. Just curious. I think this would be fun for a while, who knows what you’d find…unless you find your neighbours’ rotting corpse…funs over.

4. Looting has always looked kind of fun to me. But I guess you wouldn’t have use for a lot of stuff after the apocalypse. So I’d probably limit my looting to clothing and transportion. You would never have to wear the same thing twice. I’d probably try to find cool things to drive as well, luxury cars, heavy machinery. A tank. Man that would be fun.

…and so forth…

Read Full Post »

Not much going on these days out there in the fry world….unless you count all that crap about trans fats and acrylamide…which is all very boring in my opinion. French fries are bad for you…okay, WE GET IT. Consider this dead horse officially beat.

Not to worry, soon all this transfat stuff will be old news and the media will be flogging the hell out of the new evil on the block….high fructose corn syrup
….dun dun dun!!! Apparently its sweet but deadly. Ooooh a food additive that’s bad for you…what a shock…but I digress.

I know my loyal ‘fan’ has been dying to here a little bit more about what the Lord (me, not Him) has been up to. So here it is….a bit of the low down on the Lord of the Fries…well, more of a sub-low down.

Just finished watching A Scanner Darkly. This movie blew my mind…okay not really, but I did really enjoy it. It was a good combination of cool and trippy.
Here’s a clip:

iamlegend.jpgI also just finished reading I am Legend by Richard Matheson. This book blew my mind. Kidding, again, but it was a great read. I’ll give you the gist in case you haven’t heard of it (I was going to anyway). Its about post-apocalyptic vampires….ha ha, I lost you at vampires didn’t I? I know I know, not another vampire story right? Well this one is the great grandaddy of any other vampire story out there. The one that all the others wish they could be. Seriously, this is a good book, and its not so much about the vampires as it is about one mans struggle to survive and how he copes with loss…and how he kicks some serious vampire ass. Just kidding about the last part…although he does…well, I won’t ruin it for you.

Apparently the latest movie version will be starring Will Smith. But don’t let that stop you from reading the book, or maybe that’ll make you want to read it …to each his own.

Read Full Post »

poutine-at-harvest.jpgSo the Lord and Lady were out shopping in Cambridge on Saturday and we decided to try out the poutine at Harvest.
I blogged about these a while back and I am very glad we decided to finally try them out. Quite simply put, these may be the classiest fries you’ll ever have. Harvest itself wasn’t quite what we expected, a little more up scale than anticipated but the people were friendly and the atmosphere was sophisticated and very comfortable. We sat at the bar since we were only going to order the fries and a beer. I had a frosty pint of Cambridge Amber while the Lady had a Stella and we waited for our poutine to arrive. You might think these fries a little too expensive at 9 bucks a pop but let me tell you, they are worth every penny and there are enough for two people. These are some seriously high class fries. Its hard not to imagine yourself in a tux and top hat with your pinky finger extended while you eat these fries. So how did they taste? Fantastic! They are hand cut fries topped with cheese curd, chicken velouté (a French gravy), and chopped scallions. Both the Lord and Lady agree that the scallions really took these fries up a notch. Bam!

Seriously, if you like fries, and I can’t imagine why any self respecting person wouldn’t, you should treat yourself to an order if you are ever in Cambridge, MA.

44 Brattle Street (on the walkway), Harvard Square, Cambridge 02138

Read Full Post »

Heinz and the rediculous “Funky Fries” fiasco.

This is a classic example of a company trying to improve upon something that is more than good enough as it is.

Back in 2002 Heinz decides to shake things up by introducing a new line of french fries.


From CNN Money:

Beginning in May, H.J. Heinz Co. will ship a new line of Ore-Ida frozen potato products called Funky Fries featuring five new shapes, colors and flavors, all intended to give kids even more say over their parents’ grocery store lists.


The new products include French fries flavored with sour cream and chives, or cinnamon and sugar, and a new product called Crunchy Rings – basically Tater Tots with a hole in the middle. Then there’s Kool Blue – a sky blue seasoned French fry, and Cocoa Crispers — a brown chocolate fry designed “for kids with a sweet tooth.”

I didn’t even know these fries existed, but maybe that’s because they were only on the market for a year before they were yanked from the shelves.

From CNN Money:

Consumers never warmed up to these odd fries and a year later Heinz is pulling them off the shelves and blaming disappointing sales of the product as one reason for its fourth-quarter profit miss.

“Kids already like the plain french fries,” said Marilyn Raymond, director with New ProductWorks, a Michigan-based product marketing consultancy. “Why try to make them more friendly to kids?”

“What bothered me the most were the chocolate fries,” Raymond added. “What was Heinz thinking? Chocolate in french fries is so different that consumers found no cord of familiarity with it. There aren’t even chocolate-flavored potato chips out there.”

Sad. Sad. Sad.

Read Full Post »

Fries reviewer: Cuzzy @ the local Wendy’s in Halifax, Nova Scotia

Temperature: Right out of the oven hot! This is key to pure enjoyment

Crispy-ness: Perfect, very little crusties at the bottom

Colour: Golden brown just like they should be

Taste: Mouth watering potato flavour. Always key in something claiming to be potato.

Enjoyed with: Four small cups of ketchup and the Monday Daily News

Overall feeling: All I can say is I wish there were more. 4 out of 5 stars for that reason.

Read Full Post »

Under the Heat Lamp

My pick for Best Fast Food Fry:


As frozen fast food fries go, you really can’t beat the Wendy’s fry. Relatively big and thick and full of (I think) actual potato these fries beat all those other “*sell out” fries hands down. I also like the powdery salt they use on these fries.

Wendy’s was also the first chain to reduce the amount of trans fats in their fries.

*sell out fries – those pathetic empty “crispy” husks that so many fast food chains have adopted as “fries”. These things are devoid of potato and are an insult to french fry lovers everywhere. A good example of selling out is the so called french fries that KFC is selling these days. Sure, their old fries were usually cold and soggy, but at least they contained some obvious potato.

Read Full Post »